Article written May 2006 by Helga Marin
Your experience of life is primarily affected by the perspective you view it from. Depending upon the meaning we give to situations or events, we will feel and behave differently. Some people always manage to look at things in a positive way. They have an ability to frame any situation in a way that leaves them feeling empowered and strong. They can take a seemingly negative situation and reframe it to find the positive.
The fact is, everything is relative. When you think one situation is bad, that is because you are comparing it to something you perceive is better.
One of the most important things you need to understand is that failure is an attitude not an outcome. It has nothing to do with the results you produce but rather how you decide to see them. For example: After Thomas Edison seven hundredth unsuccessful attempt to invent the electric light, he was asked by a new York timer reporter: “how does it feel to have failed seven hundred times?” The great inventor responded with a classic example of a positive perspective: “I have not failed once; I have succeeded in proving that those seven hundred ways will not work. When I have eliminated all the ways that will not work I will find the way that will work”.
What Edison succeeded in doing, was to frame his particular challenge in a way that helped keep him motivated.
In fact successful people recognize that success is what happens when you are done failing. Every mistake or failure is a learning opportunity in disguise. Failure is a requisite part of the learning process, not the end of the learning process.
Learn To Be Positive
One of the most powerful framing tools we all use on a daily basis is also one of the simplest, the power of questions. Questions determine the focus of our perception. Consider this question “why can’t I do it, why can’t I loose weight” you are actually telling yourself that you can’t do it. Your mind starts to search for reasons why you can’t do it and it focuses on the fact that you can’t do it. No matter what answer you will give yourself, you are accepting the basic premise of the question, that you can’t do it.
Alternatively imagine asking yourself: How can I make this work, how can I do it, how can I loose weight?? This question presupposes that it can work and there are numbers of why how it can work. The question directs your focus and your mind on how you can do it, which will obviously get you to the solution.
So when ever you find yourself asking negative questions try reframing the questions towards something positive. The question makes your brain look for solutions. If you are not happy with the answer you are getting back, change the question or keep asking until your mind finds the right answers.
Remember that you always get more of what you focus on in life.
Empowering Questions
By asking yourself following questions you can force yourself to progress into a positive state. To create an even richer feeling of positivism, try to associate the answers with bright and vibrant colors. Build up a vivid representation of what ever comes into your mind.
- Who or what in my life makes me feel happiest
- Who or what in my life makes me feel most loved
- Who or what in my life makes me feel richest
- Who or what in my life makes me feel most passionate
- Who or what in my life makes me feel most empowered
Use these colours to fill yourself with feelings of positivism whenever you feel yourself drifting into negativism. Not only will you empower yourself, you will find yourself feeling light, optimistic and looking forward to facing each day and the challenges life brings with a warm smile. Cheers!