Article written by Helga Marin for Connector magazine in Dubai August 2008
Im 35 years old and Im struggling to lose weight. I have been following your advices I read in connector some time ago but I have one major problem and that is dinners at my mother in law. She cooks very heavy and greasy food and I feel shy not to eat her food. I and my husband have dinner at her place 3-4 times a week which makes it almost impossible for me to stick to a healthy regime. Ive tried eating less during the day on the days I know we are going to her place but that hasn’t really helped, my weight is not moving. What can I do?
First of all I want you to ask yourself if you are really eating for your mother in law or if this is way for you to make up an excuse story. Sometimes blaming our own failure on external factors takes away the guilt and we feel better about ourselves. Reducing your food intake during the day on the days you are going over for dinner is actually making the problem you are facing worse. When you eat small amount of food during the day your metabolic rate slows down and you feel hungrier at night which usually leads to bingeing. When your metabolic rate is slow your body absorbs any food you eat and stores it more easily. I would like you to ask yourself following questions:
- If you tell you tell your mother in law that you want to lose weigh t don’t you think she will understand? If she doesn’t you can do one of two things:
a) Put on your plate normal amount of food and just leave food on the plate
b) Start with filling your plate with salads and then add to it a small amount of food. Your plate will look full and people wont notice the amount of food you are eating
- Remember that you are responsible for yourself and you should never allow anyone else to interfere with what you eat especially when you are encouraged to eat unhealthily. After all do you really want to suffer with excess weight just to please your mother in law?
I had similar problem myself when I came to stay with my parents in law in Egypt for the first time. I didn’t want to put any demands on them or insult them as it was important for me to be accepted by the family. In the beginning I would just eat very small amount of food and when my mother in law asked me why I didn’t eat more I simply explained that my stomach couldn’t deal with so heavy food and therefore I had to eat small portions. I made sure to compliment her on her cooking every single time and slowly she started to understand what kind of food I liked and started preparing for me healthier foods like fresh salads and grilled fish. You don’t need to be rude, but have it as a rule to eat for yourself because after all it is your body, you are responsible for it and you will have to suffer if you don’t take care of it, not your mother in law.
Eat regularly and have it as a rule to eat good lunch and even an afternoon snack on the days you are going over for dinner. You will feel more in control and the heavy food in front of you wont be as appealing.